How to Meet People Online Safely
Meeting people from Discord, MTG trades, or online groups shouldn’t feel risky. Here’s how to meet people online safely, whether it’s your first session or your fiftieth.
You found an awesome D&D group on Discord, traded cards with a player from a MTG server, or just made some new friends online who you want to game with. Now it’s time to actually meet! Whether it’s in person or virtual, on the table or over Zoom, it’s essential you understand how to how to meet online safely. This isn’t about seeing every new person as a danger to avoid, but instead having a plan so that your first time meeting isn’t dangerous. It’s not hard to figure out how to meet people online safely, but sometimes we forget the basics. This checklist cover over how to vet people before meeting, how to meet safely, and how to stay safe before meeting in person.
In-Person Meetups: Keeping Yourself Safe
- Do Your Homework
- Check Their Socials: Don’t just take their profile at face value. Check out their social media. Do things match up, or does it seem fishy?
- Reverse Image Search: See if their pics are stolen from somewhere else. This helps spot fake profiles or catfishers.
- Ask Around: If you have mutual friends, ask about them. Their opinion can be super helpful.
- Google Them: See what comes up when you search their name. You might find news articles or info that raises red flags.
- Meet in Public
- First Meetup Spot: Pick a busy coffee shop, a bright restaurant, or a crowded park. Skip isolated places or their house for the first meet.
- Daytime is Best: Meet during the day when there are more people around. It’s safer that way.
- Your Own Ride: Drive yourself or take public transport so you can leave whenever you want.
- Buddy System
- Have a friend tag-along:
- Share Your Plans: Tell a friend or family member who you’re meeting, where you’re going, and when you’ll be back.
- Share Your Location: Use an app to share your live location with a friend during the meetup.
- Check-In Calls: Have a friend call or text you at a specific time to make sure you’re okay.
- Code Word: Come up with a code word you can text or say if you need help fast.
- Trust Your Gut
- Red Flags: Watch out for controlling behavior, pressure to meet up quickly, or asking for money. Trust your instincts if something feels weird.
- Something’s Off? If you feel uncomfortable, leave or end the chat. Don’t worry about being polite if you’re not safe.
- Behavior Change: Be careful if they act way different in person than they did online.
- Stay Safe During the Meetup
- Stay Sober: Being under the influence makes it harder to think clearly.
- Set Boundaries: Be clear about what you’re comfortable with and don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to.
- Emergency Contacts: Have emergency numbers saved in your phone.
- Watch Your Drink: Don’t leave your drink unattended.
- Don’t Overshare: Be careful about giving out personal info like your address or work until you know them better.
Your Hub for Meeting New Friends Online Safely
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Virtual Meetings: Staying Safe Online
- Lock Down Your Virtual Space
- Strong Passwords: Use unique, strong passwords for your video chat accounts.
- Update Everything: Keep your video chat software and computer updated.
- Privacy Settings: Learn and use the privacy settings in your video chat app.
- Secure Connection: Use a safe and private internet connection for virtual meetings.
- Virtual Backgrounds: Use virtual backgrounds to hide your personal space if you want.
- Protect Your Personal Info
- Share Wisely: Don’t share sensitive info like your address, full name, or money stuff during early virtual meetings.
- Watch Out for Phishing: Be careful with suspicious links or requests for personal info.
- Secure Connections: Make sure you’re using a safe internet connection when sharing personal info.
- Check URLs: Double-check links before clicking to make sure they’re real and not a phishing scam.
- Spotting Scams
- Too Good to Be True: Be wary of offers that seem too good to be true or requests for money.
- Emotional Tricks: Scammers often try to play on your emotions to pressure you.
- Upfront Payment: Be careful if someone asks for money upfront, especially for an “emergency.”
- Changing Stories: Be suspicious if their stories keep changing.
- Rush to Act: Scammers often create urgency to stop you from thinking clearly.
- Keep Your Devices Safe
- Anti-Virus Software: Install good anti-virus software on your devices to protect against malware.
- Suspicious Attachments: Don’t open attachments from people you don’t know or trust.
- Unknown Links: Be careful clicking links from unknown sources.
- Firewall: Turn on your firewall for extra security.
- Report Bad Behavior
- Zero Tolerance: Don’t put up with inappropriate behavior during video chats.
- Report on the Platform: Most video chat apps have ways to report abuse.
- Call the Police: If you feel threatened or harassed, contact the police.
- Block and Report: Block and report users who act badly.
Extra Tips for Safe Online Interactions
- Take It Slow: Don’t rush into meeting up or sharing personal info.
- Communicate Clearly: Be upfront about what you expect and your boundaries.
- Trust Your Gut: If something feels off, listen to your intuition and put your safety first.
- Use Video Calls: Try to video chat to see if they’re real and get a better feel for their personality.
- Stay Informed: Learn about common online scams and how to protect yourself.
By following these safety tips, you can meet new people online and have fun while staying safe. Remember, your safety is always #1!
If Something Goes Wrong
If you’re ever pressured for money, threatened, or scammed by someone you met online, report it. Use the platform’s own reporting tools first, then file a report with the FTC if money or personal information was involved, or the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) for anything more serious. If you’re in immediate danger, contact local law enforcement.
FAQs for Meeting People Online Safely
How do I safely meet someone I met online?
Yes, you would ideally meet during the day in a public space, arrive and depart by yourself, and inform a trusted friend of your location and return time. A brief video call prior to the meetup is a smart precaution.
Is it safe to meet someone I met online?
Yes, but do some basic due diligence first. Really try to learn who you’re talking with, arrange to meet in public for the initial encounter, tell or take a friend with you, and listen to your instincts if something seems amiss. The vast majority of unsafe situations occur not because an online meetup was attempted, but because one or more safety steps were ignored.
What are some red flags to watch out for when meeting someone I met online?
If someone pressures you to meet ASAP, asks for money, tells inconsistent stories, refuses to video chat, or behaves differently in person than they did online, it’s reasonable to exercise caution. One red flag is cause to be wary; multiple is cause to leave.
The single most important rule is knowing who you are meeting ahead of time. Joining communities centered on your hobbies rather than randomly approaching strangers online simplifies this process. Browse our member listings to find Nerd Culture enthusiasts who share your specific hobbies such as tabletop RPGs, card games, or VTT campaigns, ensuring your first interaction takes place between mutual acquaintances rather than a complete stranger.